You don’t have to be a perfectionist.

Sandra Völler founded her IT company in 2001. Today, she and her team of over 200 employees support Swiss SMEs and international companies on their journey of digital transformation. The business informatics specialist places particular importance on her professional and financial independence. It was always clear to her that starting a family would only be an issue once her personal career goals had been achieved. Reflections of an entrepreneur convinced that women should have the confidence to successfully combine their own careers with starting a family.

“I consciously decided not to have children before I reached a certain point in my career. This was my individual decision, which fit me and my own goals. I wanted to have certain qualifications and expertise so that I could always be confident in finding a corresponding job. When I founded my first and second companies, I became a mother during the startup phase. It gave me a real energy boost. Enjoying my work has always been very important to me. The job is simply a part of me. I could never have stayed at home. If my husband had come back from work and told me about his eventful day – I wouldn’t have wanted to hear his stories.”

Good organization is essential

“To be able to work as a mother, you need a strong partnership. The man must contribute his part. That means he must take the children to the doctor, pick them up from childcare or kindergarten, cook and take on other everyday tasks. A ‘Dad Day’ once a week is not enough. If only one parent has to shoulder everything around the children, it doesn’t work. That was never a problem for us. We have always been very well organized. I know what I can trust myself to do and where I reach personal limits and need support. As a mother, you then also have to learn that it’s okay if your child doesn’t run into your arms first when it falls down, but maybe to grandma because it spends a lot of time with her. You have to let go and accept if your husband reacts differently to the children than you would have.”

Stereotypical role models are still firmly anchored in society

“We live in a small village. I’ve often been confronted with the belief that many people still think you’re a bad mother if you work and have your children looked after. Three months after the birth of our daughters, I started working again. Because it was important to me. Because I wanted to be independent. I could feel that some people thought that this was not good for our family. Sometimes people even ignored me on the street. My husband had a simple explanation for that: I show that something is possible that many are still convinced is not possible. It never bothered me. The ones who suffered were rather my daughters, who were asked by other mothers on the way to school if it was bad for them that their mother wasn’t at home. But men have also sometimes asked me in surprise where my children are now. Unfortunately, the stereotypical role models are still firmly anchored in society.”

Always give 150 percent

“For mothers, one realization is very important from my point of view: you don’t have to be a perfectionist. Women tend to want to give 150 percent all the time: in the family, at work, among friends, in hobbies and everything else. Sometimes you have to be satisfied with less. This is certainly difficult because the environment is still very value-conservative. We have experienced that we were critically viewed for a lifestyle that worked very well for us as a family. It’s up to everyone how they design family life. But before you have children, you should be clear as a woman what is important to you and how you want to shape not only the future of the family but also your own. I had a conversation with a primary school teacher who reported that today many children still have this traditional role model as a future vision: a man who earns the money, children and a house. That needs to change.”

Childcare needs more than just mom

“From my point of view, childcare in Switzerland is still not sufficient. There are now more and good offers, but affordability remains a challenge for families who do not have an above-average income. I would welcome more state support in this area. The existing system also assumes that there is always someone at home to look after the children. We had a triple net besides the care options to ensure that someone was there for the girls: we parents, a nanny and my mother. For the children, it was great because everyone structured the everyday life differently and they were allowed to experience a lot of variety. Nevertheless, rituals like having breakfast and dinner together were very important to us. And on weekends, we always did something together as a family. I largely avoided evening events. I simply placed my priority on the family. That’s also part of it: to give up something for a certain time and consciously decide for something else.”

Mom is the coolest

“Now my two daughters are already young women. The nicest compliment for me is that they tell me today that I was always the coolest mom for them and still am. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was at home for a year. The children quickly got used to it then and found it good to have me around all day. But at the same time, they also saw how much fun it is for me to work and make things happen. So then they also said that it’s good that I can work again.”

Stay independent

“Do I advise my daughters and other young women something? First, certainly: keep your economic independence. Always. A marriage is no guarantee of adequate material provision. I also find it important: choose a partner with whom you can really imagine starting a family. You need shared values. It’s an illusion to believe that things that are difficult at the beginning of a relationship will suddenly change when things get serious. A family always involves both. Both must invest time. If you can’t take freedoms, you will mostly fall behind as a woman. Talk in advance about how you want to shape family life. If you work only one day a week as a woman, the job will not fulfill you. That also includes something that for me is at the beginning of everything: find a job that you enjoy. That’s the key to everything.”

“For mothers, one realization is very important from my point of view: you don’t have to be a perfectionist.”